Alice-teacher! Alice-teacher!

And Yes. I have arrived. My new name for the coming year also represents my new status as an educator of little minds. Don't let that fool you though; I'm finding that respect doesn't just come with the title and I'm having to use every ounce of my creative energy and then skip dinner to make worksheets in order even attempt classroom control. But I digress.

Here is my school. Well, here's the first floor of the... 8? 9 story building? I guess I don't know because I work on the second floor and refuse to take the elevator like, *cough*, some of my coworkers. Well, okay, to be fair, they tend to wear outrageous heels. No thanks.

The school is called "Highest" and I think the slogan is, "First. Best. Highest." The English Language Center takes up the whole second floor and I work there with my [Korean] manager, two Korean teachers and another American. Immediately upon entering the glass doors above, you notice this wall of monitors to your right.

Each screen is split into 4 sections displaying a classroom. That's right, every classroom is under constant surveillance- but not just for security purposes. It allows visiting parents or potential students to look in and see how "productive" we are. Creeps me the heck out, but what are you going to do? I like to make make crazy faces at the camera when I'm chasing little 7-year olds around, pulling them out from under the tables and trying to get them to stop hitting each other. "Still don't want to send your kid here? Look at all the hands-on learning!"

 
I had to include this because these fish are my favorite. There's a giant decorative plant sculpture thing in the lobby and these goldfish live in a pool at the base. Sometimes I feed them pieces of my sandwich because I secretly want to see how fat they'll get. Remember that children's book about a kid who fed his goldfish too much and it grew to be the size of a whale? Yeah, that's what I want. A
goldwhale.

Here are some of my kids. I teach 25 class periods a week, but a lot of the kids I have more than once. These are some fifth graders. They're pretty good, although yesterday they tried to convince me that class got out 15 minutes earlier than it actually did. Fortunately, I am a wise woman and caught on to their plan and then forced them to play hangman for the remainder of the class. I'm so mean.

So far what has amused me the most, apart from some of their chosen English names (Shally, Reo, Horse, Dusin, Ranny!) has been their complete trust in their fate as decided by Rock, Paper, Scissors. I mean, I have discovered that I can solve any argument, ever, based on Rock, Paper, Scissors. It doesn't matter who was right or who was wronged first, if I say "rock, paper, scissors," then the loser bows out gracefully. Currently, I live in a world of little control, so it's a small miracle every time as far as I'm concerned.

I would like to take this time to thank my mother for having made me practice those annoying contour drawings as a child. I honestly believe that the most important skill I have right now is the ability to [quickly] free-hand the outline of just about anything on the chalkboard. Language barrier? No problem, I shall illustrate my thoughts! Of course, sometimes it works a little too well,  like last time when I had the whole class shouting things for me to draw. "Gun! Gun!" "Giraffe!"  Oh, kids.